2012/08/30 8:31 pm

What do we need to enhance communication with our kids? II Part

Catalogado en: blog-en

These 4 skills can help. What else?

In the first part we talked about how to describe or ‘Say what your eyes see and then bite your tongue’ can help improve our communications with our kids mainly. Today we will discuss about ‘Deal with events, don’t appraise personality.’

With kids there are always events to deal with, always something is going on; it is because they have made a mess, they are fighting or because the toys are all over the house and don’t forget when the school grades arrived.

Motherhood is the hardest job, but we can never say it’s boring. Every day something different happens. It means, we have a lot of  opportunities to use and enhance this technique. Then what do we say when there is a mess on the floor? ‘The floor is dirty, we need a broom’ we do not need to say, ‘You must have butter’s hands, you always spilled it all,’ just deal with the event.

When I was little, things slipped out of my hand a lot, this was something that affected me directly, when my kids started to drop things, I decided to do something about it. Then, on one occasion when they dropped something, but could catch it, I said to them,  trying to hide my scare face ‘Oh, good reflexes,’ instead of saying what was wrong or over react about how good it was, I made ​​a small comment about what had happened. This happened to me with two of my sons, the  most amazing thing was that both in separetedly ocations replied ‘Yes, I have excellent reflexes.’

When they are fighting a sentence like this can help ‘Issues are solved by talking, we must say what is bothering us’ I often say this  while I am separating them, if you think that with three sons (9, 7 and 6 years ) there are no fights in the house, let me tell you  there are always differences. Before using this second technique,  ‘Deal with events, do not appraise personality’  I used to separate them and give them some lectures about fraternal love, then I made them apologize and hug each other. The result, more and more  fought and the anger between them lasted longer.

 Now I invite them to seek for a solution, many times (mainly between the second and the smaller) get into the fighting, one strikes first and the other one strike back, I separate them and said the «sentence.»  They say what is the problem, sometimes they found a solution sometimes don’t, but by saying what is bothering them, they relieve all that energy. Five minutes later, they are playing as if nothing ever happened.

Finally, the school grades. School grades should always be see equally. When I look at them, I just say what I see ‘Oh you did well in this subject, in this other subject not so well, in this one the teacher write you a note, let us read it, and so on.’ Since I do not give much importance, or I don’t said how smart or dumb they are, I’m just relating the events, my own children tell me what happened to them ‘Uh, I did not understand what I had to do’ or ‘Mmm, I can not think of any sentence with that word.’

 What I do is listen very carefully and take mental note for the next time that we study and practice what they tell me was dificult from them, there are no tears. There are only events that we must learn to live and find ways to improve them the next time.

 You can never learn less; you can only learn more.  The reason I know so much is because  I have made so many mistakes.

 Buckminster Fuller

 The third part we will discuss how ‘Describe feelings, don’t  evaluate characters,’ may help further with the communication with our kids.

If you liked this article, share it with all your friends and if you wish to have access to exclusive member content please sign up MamaExperta.com

More Tips:
• My son sucks his thumb. What can I do?
• How do we help our kids to become winners?
• How do we teach our kids to learn?
• What do we need to enhance communication with our kids? I Part
• What do we need to enhance communication with our kids? II Part
• What do we need to enhance communication with our kids? III Part
• What do we need to enhance communication with our kids? Last Part
• What good things made your kid today?
• How do we teach our kid to express their gratitude?
• My kid do not want to take his medicine?
• The Mission of all Moms
• Our Kids aren’t Perfect…
• How much Love is enough for our kid?
• It's time to trim our kid’s nails
• The Terrible Twos. What can we do?
• The Terrible Twos. What can we do? II Part ***New

Value's Short Stories 4 Kids.
•Keep Going! Modeling the Success of Michael Jordan
•Never, Never, Never Give Up! Modeling Derek Redmond and Usain Bolt
•Dreams and Wishes! Modeling JK Rowling and Debbie Macomber

Just for members
• How do we use sense of humor so that our kids help at home?
• How do we teach our kids to to learn the lessons of failure?
• My little boy told me "I HATE YOU" what can I do?
• Unconditional Love. Do your kid know you love him? ***New
Deja tu Comentario
© 2012 MamaExperta.com — Todos los Derechos Reservados. El contenido de este sitio se presenta únicamente con propósitos informativos o educativos y no representa recomendaciones ni asesoría de ningún tipo. Usted es responsable de sus decisiones y acciones y siempre debe buscar asistencia de asesores idóneos, incluyendo profesionales de la salud. Para más detalles ver: Aviso Legal
© 2012 MamaExperta.com — All Rights Reserved. The content of this site are presented solely for informational or educational purposes and does not represent recommendations or advice of any kind. You are responsible for their decisions and actions and should always seek qualified consultants, including health professionals. For more details see: Legal Notice
Sitio Diseñado por PeopleTechOnline.com