2013/04/22 9:35 am

You’re the Best vs. What a Great Effort

Catalogado en: blog-en
By:

The message was:  Skills and achievement come through commitment and effort. 

-Carol S. Dweck, Ph. D.

A couple of months ago we talked about Dr. Ginott’s quote in his book Between Parent & Teenager that says: “Describe, don’t evaluate. Deal with events- don’t appraise personality. Describe feelings, don’t evaluate characters. Give a realistic picture of the accomplishment, don’t glorify the person.”

Today we will talk about why this way of communicating with our children is so effective. When we tell our children, “You’re the best,” we’re telling him that he’s perfect, and that we appreciate a free mistakes person, that he/she should know all the answers and that things should be easy for them.

When we tell our children “wow, you made a great effort to finish this drawing or whatever he/she was doing,” we are appreciating the effort he made to finish the work, we are teaching them that things can be difficult but with effort and dedication they can finish whatever they intend.

In the book “Mindset” by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D. he tells us the following “Praising children’s intelligence harms their motivation and impairs their performance.” After reading this we may think “But I just want my kid know he’s smart,” but Carol explains: why does praising intelligence hurts our children? She says “This makes children doubt themselves as soon as something is hard or something goes wrong.”

The child  can reach the following conclusion: “ If  I’m smart how could I be wrong and how come the other child got a better grades than me? Perhaps I’m not as smart as they say”.

Carol gives us a recipe to help our children to always be willing to keep learning “If parents want to give their children a gift, the best they can do is to teach their children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes , enjoy the effort, and keep on learning. ”

During the next days we can work on value the efforts of our children and observe the difference this causes on them.

If you liked it, share this article with your friends and please leave your comments. See you in the comments.

More Tips:
• My son sucks his thumb. What can I do?
• How do we help our kids to become winners?
• How do we teach our kids to learn?
• What do we need to enhance communication with our kids? I Part
• What do we need to enhance communication with our kids? II Part
• What do we need to enhance communication with our kids? III Part
• What do we need to enhance communication with our kids? Last Part
• What good things made your kid today?
• How do we teach our kid to express their gratitude?
• My kid do not want to take his medicine?
• The Mission of all Moms
• Our Kids aren’t Perfect…
• How much Love is enough for our kid?
• It's time to trim our kid’s nails
• The Terrible Twos. What can we do?
• The Terrible Twos. What can we do? II Part ***New

Value's Short Stories 4 Kids.
•Keep Going! Modeling the Success of Michael Jordan
•Never, Never, Never Give Up! Modeling Derek Redmond and Usain Bolt
•Dreams and Wishes! Modeling JK Rowling and Debbie Macomber

Just for members
• How do we use sense of humor so that our kids help at home?
• How do we teach our kids to to learn the lessons of failure?
• My little boy told me "I HATE YOU" what can I do?
• Unconditional Love. Do your kid know you love him? ***New

 

 

Deja tu Comentario
Visit Us On FacebookVisit Us On YoutubeCheck Our FeedVisit Us On TwitterVisit Us On Pinterest
© 2012 MamaExperta.com — Todos los Derechos Reservados. El contenido de este sitio se presenta únicamente con propósitos informativos o educativos y no representa recomendaciones ni asesoría de ningún tipo. Usted es responsable de sus decisiones y acciones y siempre debe buscar asistencia de asesores idóneos, incluyendo profesionales de la salud. Para más detalles ver: Aviso Legal
© 2012 MamaExperta.com — All Rights Reserved. The content of this site are presented solely for informational or educational purposes and does not represent recommendations or advice of any kind. You are responsible for their decisions and actions and should always seek qualified consultants, including health professionals. For more details see: Legal Notice
Sitio Diseñado por PeopleTechOnline.com